I have to be truthful, having to be suctioned every two hours didn't seem like a very great future. Today I am reading in my devotional books everything that seems to connect. Jeremiah 29:11- God has a plan--It's true. I felt absolute peace coming into this program. I knew about the dry mouth, enflamed mouth and throat, possibility of a carotid burst, and other risks--but I didn't know anything about having to have a trache and all the complications with that. Nor did I know about the blood transfusion. Would that have made any real difference? I doubt it, but it always takes me a while to assimilate new things, problems. Another devotional book urges not to fear witnessing for our Lord. He has given wonderful opportunities to far.
I must not weaken, because I think it is for this reason that I am here. The last devotional book shows me that the Lord has pushed me through my illness to THIS place. Here is where I want to be--the University of Chicago Hospitals. Here is where I am and will humbly, as did the Apostle Paul, seek to do His will.
There have been a few weak moments when I thought, "Is it worth it?" Those thoughts are gone. I await His will and leading. "For those who want to save their life will lose it (Chemo only with about a year to live), and those who lose their life for my sake will find it." (Possibility of a carotid burst) Matthew 16:25. I pray for His strength, which He has promised, and which I claim. Alice
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